I remember the day after it happened. I don't know how I made it through that day. I was devistated. I some how managed to gather some strength and take my son to daycare. After that I laid back down in the bed. I cried. And cried, and cried. I thought it was all a bad dream. I was sooo happy. And then my world came crashing to an end. A momentary weakness had led to disaster. I blamed myself for a long time. I thought it was all my fault. I didn't want to live anymore. And while I survived and things are good for me, I still think back on last summer and remember just how in love I was. But the love wasn't real. I remember thinking that I would never be in love again. I was right. I will never be in love like that again. And while I got love for folks, I don't know when I'll fall in love again. To be honest, I don't think it's anyone's fault. That's just the way the cookie crumbles. I don't know why I'm thinking about this today. Maybe because I'm realizing that it's been a year. Maybe because he was on my mind. I do sometimes think that was the last chance I had at happiness, or bliss for that matter. But, who knows what GOD has in store for me. I do know now that I will never be the same again. I will never trust anyone like I trusted him. I will never let my guards down. I will never let myself be so hurt again. I will always remember that life is far too short to be that unhappy. At that time, I really didn't want to live. Only because I thought that was my last shot at being with someone. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Who knows. It's just me against the world and nothing is going to change that anytime soon.