I really haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. So this weekend, I crashed. Which was actually the wrong time to crash cause I had mad stuff to do. But it kept raining and I was so so so tired. Usually I'm not a sleep fan, but I guess I needed it this weekend. Too bad my mind couldn't rest. Lastnight was another sleepless night. Most likely because all the sleep I got this weekend. When I do get sleep, I'm disturbed by dreams that I don't remember in the morning. I keep waking up in the middle of the night. It use to be when I became so restless I would sink myself into work... But now, I don't know the solution. My heart is aching. And as much as I try to comfort myself... It just doesn't work. So here I am... Stuck! Stuck with dealing with all this nonsense... But at the same time, I'm trying to focus in on something else... Just to get my mind out of this sad ass cloudy haze! I keep crying... All the time... And I feel rejected and pathetic because I'm so confused about all this shit that keeps happening to me!! I just want to take a week off and not do anything but think and try to get my thoughts together...I feel like I'm going crazy! I haven't smoked in a while and maybe I don't need to... I'm trying to quit... My memory is failing... Happens when I smoke too much! An unfortunate draw back of lifting your mind...I guess I killed too many brain cells... I wonder how much of my heart has died this past two weeks... It's definately scarred... And listening to Jill Scott isn't going to help this one... I wonder what will... I guess Time...