Childhood..

I look at my son and wonder what his childhood would be like. I try to give him everything he needs and anything he wants. I do spoil him so. Mainly, he just wants me. He wants me to read to him, snuggle with him, play with him and be his best friend. And as much as I want to be all those things, I can't. I'm his mother, I can't be his best friend. He needs to be around children of his own age. And while he attends daycare, when he comes home, it's just us. I grew up alone for a big chunk of my childhood. It's a lonely experience. My creativity didn't get nurtured the way it should have. I grew up way too fast. Divorce and moving with my father had taken it's toll. I'm not a soccer mom. My mom wasn't either. I never got the attention that children should have. I became very withdrawn and surrounded myself in my creative world. I made dolls and doll clothes, along with stuff animals. These were my friends. Along with the cat and my dog. I didn't have too many human friends. My interests just weren't the same. I was very quiet, and eventually got labeled as "weird". Even my father said I was strange. I want my son to be normal, not lost in his own world. While I do want him to be independent, I don't want him to be withdrawn and shy. So far, I think he's doing well. But he's only 3. How is he going to be in 3 years. Being a single mother definately has it's challanges. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. But I've found that you gotta do what you gotta do. I just hope that my son's childhood is a good one. Not one remembered with a lot of pain and tears. As a mother, it's my job to make sure he's happy. I just hope that I'm good enough.