Nah... I didn't sleep too well yesterday. My son is gone. He's spending some much needed time with his dad. I miss him a little bit. When he was a baby I would go get him from his crib and put him in my bed. I was lonely. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and he would be there laying next to me, propped up and watching TV. (I always sleep with the TV on- that started when I was pregnant with my son) Seldom would he wake me. I think he would just lay there watching over me. He's such an old man sometimes. For a long time it was just me and him, and well he's awfully protective of me. I'm trying to break him out of it. I don't want him to feel like he has to be the man of the house. And to be honest, whenever he's gone for a few days, I miss him so much. Being a single mother has to be the hardest thing I've ever done. And despite all I go through, I still want another child. I must be crazy. I like kids but I'm not a big kid person. My friend has two kids and I have one, so that makes three... I have no problem with raising our three, if need be, but heck I wouldn't want somebody else's kid to raise. That's why I don't think I would ever adopt. Too much hassle.

Maybe I want another child because I met the love of my life and I naturally want to have a child with him. But somethings just aren't meant. It's a sad realization, but a true one. As much as I love him, I may have to admit that he's not the one for me. I'm in denial right now because I love him too much to let him go.