Rain...

While driving to see my sister today, I cursed at all this rain. It rained all day long. I hate driving in the rain. It has a tendency to make me sleepy. Plus, I don't see too good in the rain. All those years bent over a sewing machine and staring at a computer has taken it's toll. Rain is a sort of mystical energy that cannot be easily explained. Every time it rains, I want to stay inside, watch court tv and take a nap. I live in Maryland. Maryland is a very mild state. (Weather wise) Because in the Winter we don't get a lot of snow, we get a lot of rain. It's pretty cool, because I can't stand snow. Which brings me to today's thought. Not all your days are going to be sunny. Some are going to be rainy and some are going to be cold and icy. GOD has a funny way of letting you know how life is, just by observing your environment. Everything is relative. When it rains, you deal with it and keep on going. When things don't go right, you deal with it and keep on going. The strong person is the person that accepts what GOD is trying to tell them and learn from that. We can all wish things were different or better, but we can only be what we are meant to be. I don't pray for success. I pray for happiness. So far, GOD has given me that. I have a beautiful son, a job, a place to stay, a car, and a great talent. I'm sure the rest will fall in place. Instead of praying for a man, or that new car, or the biggest house on the block, pray for GOD to show you some light. Maybe your soul is in need, not your body. Just a thought people.

Preference...

This morning, while getting the 3 year old dressed, (His birthday is next month, but he might as well be 3 now), I picked out some sneakers for him to wear. He didn't want to wear them, he made me put his boots on. I guess he preferred to wear his boots instead of the sneakers. Don't ask me why, that's what he wanted. So I obliged him.
From an early age, we know what we do and do not like. Which brings me to today's thought. People need to more upfront with their preference. I find that men prefer several different types of women. They prefer one type to be in a relationship with, one type to be friends with, and one type to have sex with. Rarely is their one woman who can fit that bill. I think that's why most men cheat. Women on the other hand look for one type of man that can fill all their needs. We don't want more then one man. Both men and women have a tendency to settle for a person that doesn't necessarily meet their preference. I think everyone should be more up front and honest with each other. If I'm not your preference, tell me. Don't make me think I have a shot at being your girl, when I'm not your type. And ladies, you need to do the same. Don't lead these men on. It's not fair. The truth often hurts. I'd rather be hurt in the beginning, then hurt in the end. That's just my opinion.

Plain Jane...

Yeah, I'm a plain jane. Don't really get dressed up, really don't go anywhere. Give me an old pair of jeans and a baggy sweatshirt and I'm happy. Never been one to get dolled up to go the mall. I'm so plain that I never get noticed. So now I'm like, why bother. I dress for comfort. Always have, always will. Back in the day I was a tomboy. I wore the same things the guys did. Flavor Lees, Dotted Nikes, Russell Sweatsuits, Jordan's. I went to an all girl high school. I never dressed up. For what? I lived so far from school, that I had to catch 2 buses. I got up so early, the last thing I wanted to be was "girly". When school let out, I went straight to Hardees for my after-school job. After getting off at 11pm, I went home and sewed. Then I was up at 6 again. Who had time to get they nails did. Plus fake nails got in the way when I tried to sew. My hair was short then, it was wash and wear. Never have I set in a hair dresser's chair, for what? All that work and my hair is gonna frizz up when I go outside. Getting my hair done is a waste of money. I guess all those years of non-chalant behavior regarding my appearance have caught up with me. Now I'm a Plain Jane. No make up, no earrings, no nail polish, no dressy clothes, no high heels (only in the summer), hair is never "done". Somewhere, somehow, all the hard work has robbed my of my "femininity". But I'm still very much a woman. Femininity is your behavior, not what you wear. I don't go out much. For what? I can get drunk at home, I don't have to drive, and I'm steps away from my bed when I pass out. In other words, the club doesn't offer me anything. All those years of having fashion shows at clubs, and not getting home until 8am, has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Rest and relaxtion mean a lot to me. I guess I'm getting old. Funny thing is, I've been wanting rest and relaxtion for as long as I remember. I got burnt out at an early age.

I don't see myself changing for anyone. I'm always going to be plain. So I guess I'll be by myself until I find someone who loves me for me and respects me for me. I man that understands that sexuality is on the inside, not the out.

Peace!

Breakfast...

For breakfast this morning, I had fried potatoes with cheese, bacon and some fruit punch. Not exactly a dieter's meal. But, that's what mood I was in this morning. For the longest time, I never ate breakfast. The older I got, the more I needed it. Remember when your momma use to say Breakfast was the most important meal of the day. Yeah, she was right. In our fast pace world we often dont take the time to eat the most important meal of the day. We are always on the go. I miss those mornings when my momma use to cook breakfast. Those lazy mornings where you would stuff yourself and go back to sleep. Now we have to be up at the crack of dawn and do a million and one things even before we get to eat. And then all we eat is Donuts, pastries, or a bagel. That's not breakfast. If you're lucky, you can go to McDonalds and eat a pile of grease for breakfast. And cereal, well it will do, but it's not the same. In my nearly 30 years on this earth, I've realized one thing. You are never promised tomorrow. Some things in life you don't deprive yourself of. Life is short, eat your breakfast.

Getting to know you is pointless. I already know you. I know when you are lying and when you are frustrated. I know when you are happy and when you're not. I've seen you up and down. I've seen your emotions, even when you have tried to hide them. I know what that little smirk means. I know just how passionate you get about things, and how disappointed you become when things don't go your way. You are my friend. And despite "us", we will always be friends. Maybe I spend too much time on pondering. But I can't help if I'm in love with your energy and your vibe.
Maybe in the end, it'll become another tale of a broken heart... Or maybe not...

I'm still torn, and more confused now then ever. I wish I could just say what's on my mind. But as much as I tell what I feel, I really don't say anything at all. Maybe I'm scared of getting hurt. Once friends "cross the line", there's no coming back. Remember that before you fall in love with a friend.