I don't understand some things in life. Hence I stay up a little bit too late. Last night however, I went to bed a little early. Well earlier then usual. And yes I did sleep alone and yes I was a little lonely. But I'm coming to realize that sometimes, that's just life. It's hard to put a finger on just how you feel about me. Sometimes I wonder, will you ever feel the same? Or do you feel the most you can feel? But in the long run, I think who cares? Life is what you make it to be. And I'm sure there is somebody out there for me. But until then, I'm just chilling...Maybe I'm not a priority to you because you know I'm not going anywhere... And most people think that way. Most people take advantage of the folks that love them, cause they figure they're not going anywhere. It's an unfortunate drawback of lovers, family and friends. When somebody becomes a constant in your life, they become overlooked. That's why relationships are hard work. You gotta work to keep them exciting and new. But to all those that read this blogger and think that my "relationship" is stagnet, it really isn't. Everyday, we grow closer and everyday we share more about each other. And I find myself telling you things that I've never told anyone. You never judge me... Well at least I don't think you do...And no matter what, I know some things you will never tell...It's hard to find a friend like that...Male or female. And I'm not letting this one go...

Toss and Turn...

When I don't sleep with you that's all I do... Toss and Turn... I've even tried to sleep with someone else, but I all I do is toss and turn... And I'm beginning to loathe sleep once again. Simply because I don't get it that often and when I do, I often toss and turn. Last night I was force fed all of these weird dreams. In which none of them made sense. I must've had a lot on my mind... And then the stomach aches from the lack of sleep or the intense emotional roller coaster that my mind is on...

I don't know why, but when you hold me, life seems so complete. I can finally rest. Am I scared??? Am I lonely?? I don't know why I'm so uneasy... Maybe I need to stop smoking....